Do you ever those moments when something pops in your head and you know it for sure? It’s like flash of brilliance and you know it’s true because you’ve lived it. I want to share one of those with you today about self-esteem, self-confidence, having faith in yourself and your abilities.
I so often hear people saying and feeling things like “I’m not sure I can do it…” When you’re meeting with someone who feels that way, you can see it on their bodies, in the way they hold themselves. It comes out in their voices and the language they use.
No one is born with self-confidence. But you can LEARN it. You CHOOSE to build it in your life. Wherever you are today with self-esteem, you don’t have to stay there. With intentional focus and practice, you can grow it – just like muscles. I know this FOR SURE because I was a very insecure person not that long ago. I was the girl that lurked on the fringes of weddings and other events with my arms crossed waiting for it to be time to leave.
I’ve walked the path to grow self-confidence for the last 7 or 8 years, beginning when I started owning a business. So I know FOR SURE that you can grow your self-confidence too.
It starts by presenting yourself with confidence even if you don’t have it yet. That boils down to three things.
First, dress the part. Think about what a confident person wears. Who are the two or three most confident people who come to mind? What are they wearing? This won’t be the same answer for everyone. For me, it started with a nice watch and a handbag. Maybe it’s really great makeup or a classy pair of shoes. It’s not about the price of your clothes or makeup – it’s how you wear them! Choose items that make you FEEL confident when you wear them.
Second, ACT the part. You don’t have to BE confident/smart/successful – you just have to ACT like it. It’s a role. You’re playing dress up like you did when you were a little girl. That skill of pretending is useful now. As you ACT the part, your body learns to BECOME the part. You may think everyone can tell you’re pretending, but I promise you, they can’t! I had to teach myself how to walk into a new event and pretend I was an outgoing person. I watched other people and copied what they did.
And third, ACTION. Every single time you take a small step towards becoming a more self-confident person, you build your own belief that you are that person. “I overcame that. I conquered that.” Your brain starts to think “well if I did that, I can do this.” You have to be willing to fail, sometimes publicly. Here’s a secret though, when you fail in front of others, they’re so caught up in how others are perceiving them, they’re not even going to notice if you do fail.
Self-confident and self-esteem can be learned. You have to work at it every day. Show up. Dress the part and take those small actions. Keep doing until you realize you are that person. You can do this! I believe in you!