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I recently attended a workshop for business owners, and the facilitator described two common types of women found in business: Victors and Victims.

Here’s how they break down:

The Victor
The Victor feels like she’s in control of things — she takes ownership of herself, her actions and her behaviors. She gets that she is exactly where she wants to be, and that this is the result of her work, activities and habits over the last 90 days. She creates accountability for herself, and leans on her colleagues, business coach or other trusted advisors for support and guidance when needed.

The Victor deeply understands that she is responsible for where she’s at in her journey, and she regularly checks in with herself on what she can control. She owns her attitude and continuously works on the things she can change.

The Victim
On the other hand, The Victim feels very out of control — she blames other people, events and circumstances for her failures. She makes excuses for her behaviors, attitude and lack of forward movement. Ultimately, she’s in denial about how she affects her surroundings and the role she plays in her own failures.

The Victor creates results, while The Victim creates excuses.

As the facilitator described differences between being a victor or being a victim, I had a funny experience: At first, I immediately identified as The Victor — after all, I strive for continuous achievement and I take responsibility for my actions! But as we delved further into the topic, I came to realize that, while I am definitely The Victor in some areas of my life, I can act like The Victim in others. Seriously, it feels like that victim mentality can come out of nowhere, and your perspective of yourself and how you can succeed changes in a split second!

I think rationalizing why we aren’t succeeding — which is basically what The Victim succeeds at really well — is the default human setting, because risks are scary. The Victim is basically just our survival instinct kicking in — and, if we want to experience seriously lovely rewards, we have to work overtime to overcome its influence.

To create results, we need to own our inner Victor, and try really hard to ignore our inner Victim. Since the workshop, I’ve been trying to catch myself every time I hear The Victim rearing her sour little head, and turn that thinking around!

How are you celebrating your inner Victor? What tricks have learned to soothe your inner Victim?  Share away.  I’d love to hear about them!