Are you enough?
We’re always second-guessing ourselves, asking if we’re “enough”. The world is constantly telling us in countless insidious ways that “No, girl. You’re not enough.”
When you start becoming visible, people will judge you. As a society, we’re harsh. We judge who wore it better on the red carpet, or how much someone makes per year, or how many degrees they have. And people are judging you too. Even though I’m always working on my mindset, I recently had an experience that triggered me.
It pushed me to an unusually sharp edge of making my blood boil when someone made me feel that I wasn’t enough. (Full Disclosure: no one can make you feel anything, but I allowed their interpretation to affect me.) A woman harshly criticized me for not being “Christian enough”. And you know what? I never will be.
Even if they don’t say it out loud, do you feel that you’re being judged as:
- You’re not Christian/Catholic/Mormon/Jewish/Muslim enough.
- You’re not thin/tall/smart/pretty enough.
- You’re not enough of a good mom and you don’t spend enough time with your children.
- You’re not enough for this leadership role.
Ugh. This drives me nuts, but here’s the truth. You will NEVER BE ENOUGH for some people. Maybe you’ll never be enough for a lot of people or for those people close to you who love you.
But guess what? No one else has a measuring stick that fits your life. No one. Deciding whether you’re “enough” literally can’t come from someone ELSE’S measurement. If you spend another minute of your life perpetually seeking approval and asking the world, “am I good enough now?” You will always come up short.
Now let me be clear, I believe in the pursuit of excellence, continually learning and growing and stepping into greater versions of myself, but this stems from an inner place of self-worth, self-acceptance, and self-love. It doesn’t come from feeling not good enough or feeling pressure to become better so that I will become good enough.
I’ve had enough of enough!
Since I’m all about strategies and results, I created a 3-step mindset tool to help you (and me – I’m a work in progress) recognize the truth when we’re feeling bogged down by the world’s expectations.
What is your goal and YOUR measurement?
- Start defining everything.
What does success mean to you? If you don’t create a definition and a benchmark, you won’t know when you’ve reached it. (And if you want a little help learning a great way to define and benchmark your success, check out this post on my 2-List Method for Setting and Achieving Goals
- Release the noise.
We’re all tied to the noise of other people’s’ chatter. It’s time to stop being addicted to the noise and someone else’s vision of good enough. You don’t need validation from anyone else (including the media, pop culture, your parents, whoever and whatever is trying to set a standard for your life).
- Let it be.
It’s okay that someone else’s measuring stick isn’t right for you. Someone else’s shoes may not fit you. Someone else’s religion, personal spiritual practices, beauty standards, income standard, parenting style… may not fit you.
What other people want for you has nothing to do with what you want for you.
Happiness, fulfillment, passion, and self-worth are inside jobs. The greatest thing we can do for ourselves is release the need and the habit of someone else telling us that we’re okay (or not okay).
Want help with this? I made a 4 part training series on the must have mindset shifts we all need for success in anything… you can grab that video series for free here.
We all need to hear the answer to this question over and over again. But we don’t need to hear the world’s answer. We need to hear and listen to is the quiet wisdom of our inner voice.
Repeat after me. “I am enough. I am enough. I am enough.”
Because oh girl, you’re more than enough. You are worthy. You are limitless. And we just can’t get enough of you.
If you loved this, I’d love to know! And. . . sharing is caring. If you have a special woman in your circle who is already enough and needs to hear it, please share this message with her.